Sunday, February 10, 2008

Betrayal...Marmite Style

The first time I went to England I had barely turned 22. It was then when I was horribly introduced to a product known as Marmite. I say "horribly" introduced because it is a distinct and vile tasting product. It is a spread: a brown, thick, repugnant, nasty spread. One, who has no taste buds, would typically spread a thin layer of Marmite on a piece of buttered bread. Or spread it a little thicker on a piece of hard cheese like Cheddar or blue cheese like Stilton. Or if you are sick (with a cold or the flue) you can take a decent amount and mix it in a mug of hot water and it turns into a yeasty-beefy drink. N-A-S-T-Y.

The company, Marmite, actually has a "love it or hate it" campaign in England. Really, people either love it or hate it. There is NO in between. This is their homepage:

Under their "nutrition tab" you can find the following description:

Marmite is not only renowned for its errr, distinctive flavour, but it's also a good source of B vitamins, completely vegetarian, is a low fat food and is very low in sugar.

Marmite contains none of the major allergens. Some people might have a reaction to celery extract, a minor component of the spice extract that is listed in the ingredients.

And the ingredients are as follows:

  • Yeast Extract
  • Salt
  • Vegetable Extract
  • Niacin
  • Thiamin
  • Spice Extracts
  • Riboflavin
  • Folic Acid
  • Celery Extract
  • Vitamin B12
So for the past 10 (TEN) years I have had this solid stance on Marmite. I can think of no better word than vile. When I eat it, it really makes my face pucker and I spit it out. I can't even think of a food that I would actually spit out, except for Marmite.

The last few times that Paul (from England) has stayed with me and Justin he has talked about brining it over for Justin to try. Well, when Paul was out here for Halloween he did exactly that.

Since it had been 10 years since I had last tried it, I decided to try it again. It made my face pucker and I spit it out. Then Justin tried it. And I figured since he was my husband he would equally hate it and we would both talk smack about the product to Paul who is an avid lover of Marmite (gross!). But something unnerving happened. Justin actually liked it. After he tried it on toast he wanted to try it on cheese and liked that even better.

I felt betrayed. More betrayed than if Justin would have cheated on me with a $20 hooker. That betrayed, yes. How on earth could MY HUSBAND like this repulsive spread they call food? Seriously, there is something wrong with a world in which Marmite exists as food and not as rat poison.

So out of the "kindness" of Paul's heart he left the jar here for Justin. Marmite now lives in our house. It is a reality that I never thought would come true.

1 comment:

~Rish said...

Oh the Horrors!!! It's like Nutella....oh how I hate Nutella!!!!