The Merry Drizzle

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Just testing a new iPhone application to see if it really posts to everything I told it to. If it works, this will be awesome!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Oh Facebook Farming...

How you woo me into your clutches

Into a complete time sink

Leaving me no time to blog in the mornings

Because I'm too busy plowing and harvesting

Even on my friend's farms I am overly consumed

With watering their plants and earning coins.

Soon it will end, as soon as I reach the next level

I have told myself that same thing

For the past 26 levels...just one more

As soon as I can get the river, I'm done with you,

I need my time back to blog, Facebook Farming

I need my time back.

Reasons Why I Haven't Blogged in a Month

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Well, symptoms of it over the past week...that does not explain the past month though...so I'm going to move onto reason #2.
Laziness. I can't think of something good to post.
Lack of sleep. You'd think that would want make me to write more, but it doesn't.
Bordeom. I don't think you want to hear what I have to say because it's so boring.
Focused on other things. That is true. I've had a lot going on with our mortgage, state of our household, thoughts of future planning, wanting to redecorate our whole house, etc. etc. etc.
Nothing really funny has happened lately. I'm usually able to secure at least one post from something funny that was said or happened. Nothing has been super funny. Justin is off of his funny game lately...sure, I'll pass the blame.
I've been an emotional mess. Yep, I think it's a change in my meds...I've been freakin' crazy lately. Think of the worst PMS short of stabbing your husband in his eye, it's about in that range. And it's about to get violent.
I've been reading more. Reading more does not inspire me to write. Well, it didn't until I started reading Lamb by Christopher Moore. Funny, oh so funny. I'm inspired by that.
I've been swamped at work. I've been dealing a lot with a new computer system and setting it up. It takes time. Lots of time. The last thing I've wanted to do is come home and stare at my computer.
Facebook's farming applications. Pieces of shit, time sinks. But oh so addictive. I can't help it. I need an intervention.
Planning a summer BBQ. I can't find a theme I like that I haven't done before. It's time to get uber creative on your asses. But this takes time and thought.

I've just run out of excuses. Time to regularly post again...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I haven't been posting the past couple of weeks because I just don't feel like I have much to say. I've been in a funk, not sure really why. I'm still trying to pinpoint it. Thanks to Camille, I'm going to update my blog with pictures and explain what excitement happened over the past few weeks, thanks Cammie!

First was Easter dinner at my Mom's house, the Saturday following Easter - since the weather was iffy at best.

Here is Carol and Shawn:

From Easter

My Mom and Ken:

From Easter

Me (with my new haircut):

From Easter

Justin, showing everyone Rock Band:

From Easter

My girlfriend, Rishma, came up for a few days. I think she liked it enough that she is planning on coming back, Fernley didn't scare her away.

From Rishma

This past Saturday we woke up with snow on the ground. A lot of snow for this winter, well, it's spring now and maybe that was the last hurrah?

Do you see 4 pugs in this pictures and thought we had only 3? Well, we are pet sitting Martini's brother: Guinness for a couple of weeks.

From Buggy in snow in April

Justin has wanted to take the buggies out in the snow, and finally, at the end of April, he was able to:

From Buggy in snow in April

Then he hit a mini lake, which he misjudged the depth because it was covered with snow and came back like this:

From Buggy in snow in April

This past Sunday I posted many pictures from High School on FaceBook. I didn't think that those photos would have such the wonderful reaction that they had. I'm so glad I took the pictures I did back then and wish I had taken more. But it is a great snapshot of my High School life. The feeling of belonging and knowing there were always people to accept who you were. In many ways, I miss those days of camaraderie and innocence. I feel very blessed to still be in touch with many of the friends I had in High School, if by nothing else than with a medium of FaceBook. Here are just a few of the photos:

From Silver Creek HS

Sleep, what sleep?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Oh how I miss sleep. I've been sleeping an average of 4 hours per night. About a week and a half ago, I slept for 5 hours over 2 nights. I think I'm worried about stuff. "Stuff" meaning life in general. I wish there was a sure fire way for me to sleep through the night short of drugging myself.

I'm even too tired to finish this blog...

Dear Dad

Monday, April 13, 2009

There is something on my blog that I rarely talk about: my Dad. More specifically, my Dad's suicide. I don't talk about it for several reasons, but mainly because I don't want to open up that wound. Who am I kidding? The wound that is still there. I'm sure it will always be open a little at times, maybe festering at other times, hopefully one day just a scar. But the wound is not at that point of fully healed yet. And one of the reasons why I think it's not properly healed is because I haven't really said good-bye. You see, I was too pissed off at my Dad to even think about having a memorial service to remember him, when all I wanted to do was forget. I wanted to forget my pain, my guilt, my loss, the void...the void that he caused.

But now I think it's time. Today is the 5 year anniversary of his death. In some respects it's been the longest 5 years of my life. Other times I feel only minutes have passed since I last saw him.

So this is my letter to him. Read it, don't read it...it's up to you, but I have to put it out there for me to continue to heal that wound a little more.
******

Dear Dad (aka Yo Papa),

I've been so angry with you since you died. Angry, sad, confused. It's hard to miss you sometimes because of my anger and guilt.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you are gone. It just seems like a long time in between phone calls. A long time in between hugs. And a forever between goodbyes.

I still ponder what exactly you where thinking when you pulled the trigger - I can't help but figure that you didn't know what you were doing, that you were too drunk. I find myself hoping that you didn't know, because then, at least in some respect maybe, you didn't consciously think that you would choose to leave your kids...never see your future grandchildren, never laugh, never feel happiness or love again.

I'm sorry I didn't have a service for you. Its now all these years later and I still think I should have. But I couldn't celebrate your life because of the way you took it. And on some levels, I still feel that way. But I'm ready to move past it instead of holding on to all of the anger and confusion.

I miss your phone calls. I miss you calling me "kid." I miss sharing my sense of humor with someone who so deeply understood it. I miss your faults and your insights, your advise and your laugh (your real, full on belly laugh). I miss your hug and your love. I miss how you would tease me and how you would protect me (like when I was 24, in your car and you stopped short, you threw your arm in front of me to stop me from going though the windshield). I miss your Mr. Peanut monocle.

You taught me so very much about life and loss. I know you weren't perfect, far from it, but I thank God for you being around as long as you were. I am so grateful for the time we had together. And all of the pictures that I have to remember you. And all of my memories, both good and well, not so good. I am grateful for missing you and being able to see past my feelings and appreciate you for who you were. You were a wonderful father, I couldn't have asked for anyone better.

As Carol and I continue to spread your ashes around the world as we travel...I hope that you are around, laughing with the two of us when we laugh. Missing us as much as we miss you.

Love,

Mel

Gifts from Dad

Saturday, April 11, 2009

On Monday will be the 5 year anniversary of my Dad's death. I decided to write a letter to my Dad a few weeks ago, it is set to publish on Monday. Something has happened that I need to post today, so Monday's post may seem a little out of order...but I just need to tell you all about this.

There have been a few times in the past where when I have really missed my Dad or something big has happened in my life and coincidentally (or not?) I randomly find new pictures of him that I haven't seen. Today is no different. I received a small package in the mail from the lady my Dad was dating when he died. In it were these:

This was taken the day after my wedding: