Thursday, March 22, 2007

Past Myspace Blogs

So these are all of my past blogs on can't leave comments for these individual posts because I simply copied and pasted them from Myspace. You can leave comments for the whole block of them at the way bottom of this blog...or you can just wait for future posts.

Happy reading...


Thursday, March 22, 2007

Anniversary Present

5 year Anniversary present

I'm getting a new wedding set for our 5 year anniversary, officially on May 4th. Unofficially, once the ring is delivered...I'm so wearing it. I don't care if it comes tomorrow...I'm so wearing it.

But now that I know I'm going to have a new wedding set (something that I have wanted for several years now) I'm beginning to feel sad about not wearing my current wedding set. I'm keeping it because I can't bear to part with it. But I wanted something different; something that I feel is more my style and I should have been wearing since day one. But the jeweler we went to (Justin knew the owner and he gave us a deal) didn't have anything like this.

Anywho - I'll have my current wedding set to wear on nostalgic days...

This is going to be the new you like?

(It is a princess and baguette side stone and wedding band with an Asscher Cut diamond in the center.) Ohhhh la la.

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Mineral Girlz

I went to a dreaded "sale" party last night. This is the second one I've been to in a month. The first one was a Papered Chef Party...not bad all in all, I spent about $60 on stuff...the best thing though was a micro plane grater mandolin.

Last night's party though was pretty cool. It was by a company called Mineral Girlz. It is make up for tweens. But the rep was there showing their lotion...which get choose the color and the scent and mix it yourself. It is pretty cool. The base lotion (8 oz) is like $5.00 then $1.25 for a scent and $1.25 for a color. Not bad. And it was decent lotion too. So I bought three combinations:
Melanie's = cucumber melon scent with green apple color
Carol and My Mom don't know they are getting theirs but I'll spoil the surprise on here:
Carol's = peach smell with dreamy orange color
Mom's = pecan pie smell with pure gold color

I'm pretty sure my Mom will like hers, not sure about Carol's though. But Carol, I will switch with you if you don't care for peach smell.

Anywho...their website is, click on Body and you'll have the list of stuff there. They also have shampoo, body wash, etc.

It's just cool! Their spelling leaves a lot to be desired... (I hate things spelled with a Z instead of an S.)

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007


We are watching a Chiuaua at our house for a week. Her name is Lilo. She is adorable. However, Olive (our youngest Pug) is so completely jealous of Olive knows how Pugzilla feels. Anywho...this Chiuaua has her own play pen (because she is so tiny, we don't let her run around for fear of stepping on her.) I do not think, however that I could have such a small dog, Pugs, I think are the smallest I could go.

By the way, she has super sharp claws!

She is not much bigger than my mouse.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Look what I did today!

I decided to play Mrs. Susie Homemaker tonight...I baked a chicken and made homemade mashed potatos (Emril's potato recipe) and then I saw a recipe for a homemmade chocolate cake...with homemmade butter cream icing. Yum and double Yum!

So I pulled the chicken out of the 400 degree over (with a pizza stone in the oven to keep the temperature moderated) and popped in the 3 round cake pans of liquid yummy goo batter...and one 24 mini-muffin tin. The cake was suppose to go into a 350 degree oven...I dropped the temperature, but did not wait until the pizza stone also dropped in temperature. Long story short....I burnt everything. We just have butter cream icing left. (Granted, that is the best part but I was really looking forward to some yummy cake...I'm going to have to go out and buy a cake mix now!)

Just lovely!

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Best Buy

Today I have righted a one year old wrong. I walked into Best Buy with Justin; we bought one bottle of water, one bottle of Coke. I asked the girl to ring me up for 2 waters...she said, "But you have only one." I replied, "Almost a year ago, I inadvertently stole a bottle of water from here, walked right out without paying for it and it has been on my mind ever since. I need to karmicly right this."

I am now free from the karmic retribution that I so deserved. I can stop thinking about that damned bottle of water each time I drive by Best Buy. Sweet freedom!

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Justin and I were driving down in Carson City today...we were driving down the auto row when it dawn on me that each of the dealerships have some kind of green and white balloons going all along their parameter. Then there was this one dealership with green, white and orange balloons. I asked Justin, "Why the orange?" His reply, "It's because orange is a sign of Leprechaun blood." At which point I just broke down laughing. Only Justin would think of that.

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Friday, March 16, 2007


So I am spending an evening with the Pugs tonight. Justin went over our friends Scott and Amy's house to play. He is really spending time with Scott, his new cute! I would have gone to make it a "couples" night, but I'm tired, still coughing, and still sick and worked a full day. So I treated myself to pizza delivery and will spend an evening on the couch watching bad television, dozing off to sleep. I'm hoping the pugs can keep quiet long enough for me to get some rest. I've been averaging 3-4 hours of sleep per night since I have been sick, save last Sunday night/Monday where I slept in until 2:30 in the afternoon.

Anywho...I am online right now because I feel guilty about my plans of doing a whole bunch of nothing tonight that I figured I might be able to get a little Hanlys Hounds work done, but as my eyelids are about half way down my eyes at the moment...and my body saying to me, "I feel a nap coming on." I should be done with this and have a lay down. So I am going to listen to my body.

Love to you all.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I had so many things to post about...

I had so many things to post about over the weekend. I kept telling myself, oh, I need to put that online...but I have forgotten them all. I'll just have to update you on the past few days.

Justin and I went down to San Jose for a quick trip for Justin's Grandma's decoy 80th birthday party...the one where we sprang the surprise cruise. And boy was she surprised. She said that she didn't want anything big, just a family party but she changed her mind two days before the decoy party, wanting something bigger. we were in San Jose for less than 48 hours, just enough time for me to get sick. Most of you know that I have severe allergies all year round, medication only makes the symptoms bearable, it does not remove them. So I have noticed a cycle that happens every few months: my sinuses get clogged and at a seemingly random point drain...then I end up getting sick and throwing up mucus. But part of the stuff drains into my chest. So I started coughing Saturday night as my sinuses started to drain, then Sunday came and I started throwing up and was very cold, but no one thought I had a fever, including me. The drive back to Fernley was horrible, a mix of me being super cold, sinuses still draining, me coughing and throwing up. Nice sounds for Justin who had no choice but to listen since he was driving.

Sunday night came and I took some sleeping pills so I could at least knock myself out and maybe get some rest. I slept mostly through the night but was freezing cold. I slept until 2:30pm Monday, still freezing. My body was burning up. Justin took my temperature and it was above 102. He gave me some Tylenol to bring the fever down. Half an hour later I took my own temperature because I felt dizzy and I felt like I was starting to hallucinate (which I have done before with high temperatures) and my temp read 105.4. CRAPITY CRAP! I got my ass into a cold shower for about 20 minutes while Justin looked up on Web MD if I should be taken to the emergency room. The shower worked and my temperature started dropping, 103...102...100...98. Phew.

I'm feeling better now, still coughing. Taking today off as well, I want to make sure that I don't get a relapse. I haven't been able to sleep at all, I think because I slept until 2:30 yesterday.

If I remember all of the things I was going to post about, I'll post it. In the meantime, I can't have a conversation without starting to cough violently, so email will have to do for now.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

My Hanly's Hounds intentions...

The past few days have been busy for me and Justin. Especially Justin.

In the past three weeks, since we had our Hanly's Hounds car wrapped...we have increased business by 35%. Justin was busy from 7:00 am until after 5:00 pm for his Reno clients on Tuesday. And he is feeling it. His neck hurts (from looking down on the ground for over 8 hours), his elbow hurts from carrying the pooper scooper. He had to go back down to Reno yesterday to finish up two first time clean ups (the most time consuming).

Justin makes me laugh...he is like House. You know how House had the motto that all patients lie? Well, Justin thinks that of all of his new customers...they apparently lie about how long it has been since they have cleaned their back yard of dog poop. He just wants them to be honest, like going to confession..."Forgive me Mr. Hanly, it has really been 8 months since I last cleaned, not 1 week like I told you originally."

I know that our business is going to take off...and I'm ready. We have had the business for about a year now and it has steadily increased. But I can feel a boom coming. A huge boom. And I'm ready to be busier than I have ever been~ ready to work at my regular job and Hanly's Hounds. I have already worked it out with my boss that I can take Hanly's Hounds phone calls if Justin can no longer pooper scoop and answer his cell phone. I'm ready for all of our bills to be paid off. I'm ready for my job to be a true secondary income to pay off those bills and then transfer to a healthy savings and for vacations. I'm so ready.

It's funny; I have been on this self exploration journey, hence my posted contract with myself: I am a fun, caring, loveable, honest woman. And through this self exploration, I have never felt more grounded. The next thing I am going to be doing is creating my top 10 values...comparing those with Justin's top 10 values and then merge them for a unified value system for me and him. I feel that I need solidify our values for a higher purpose, although I am not sure what that is yet. In some ways I feel I am grounding myself, preparing for having children (this is by no way a declaration of being pregnant or actually wanting to have children right down…)

Anyway. Enough thinking and declarations for today.

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Monday, March 05, 2007


This weekend was awesome. I was able to get what I wanted to done...which was nothing. I neglected all of my obligations, leaving them to be done in a guilty and rushed fashion throughout this week. But let me tell you, it was worth it.

Friday night Justin and I went to "the" bar, the only one we ever go to. We had a fun evening; I even stayed up until 1:30 in the morning. It is not very often that I do that. I contribute it to several drinks of Disaronno and Club Soda. But I have realized that, and God I sound old here, I have more fun without the alcohol than I do with it. Thankfully, Justin provided me with aspirin and a bottle of water in which he made me drink before I went to bed. And even though I cursed him each of the 9 times I got up to pee in the middle of the night, I was thankful that I at least didn't have a headache.

Saturday was a whole bunch of nothing. Glorious nothing was done. Well that is not entirely true. I managed to get my ass up off of the couch in which I was alternating watching television and napping, just long enough to make a roasted chicken and Carol's garlic cheddar mashed potatoes. Yum.

Sunday was much more active for me. I actually showered. I then picked up my Mom and we went to paint pottery in Sparks. It is much like Petroglyphs in San Jose. We had a good time and had fun talking. It was not stressful at all. She painted a 49ers dish for Ken. I painted a tissue box holder. I'll see later this week how they turn out. Then my Mom bought take out from the best (of two) Mexican restaurants in Fernley and Justin and I had dinner with her and Ken.

All in all, it was a fun and relaxing weekend with little movement. This will prepare us for a drive down to San Jose this coming up weekend for Jusitn's Grandmothers 80th decoy birthday party. This is where she will find out her real birthday celebration will be a cruise to Vancouver the beginning of May. And I have to get on the ball and plan out our Disney trip right before the Vancouver cruise. Life is so hard... :)

Have a wonderful day beautiful people.

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Justin made dinner

Justin made dinner last night. Fish Tacos. That's right. My husband made wonderful fish tacos. He mixed black beans (my favorite) with mixed veggies. He also made rice. He bought and pan heated corn tortillas. Then he took tarter sauce and added herbs and wasabi. These were awesome!

I can't help but laugh a little though...I told him that I don't want to eat very much beef anymore. I think we are eating too much of it, I told him he can continue if he wants to but I am going to choose chicken, fish, etc. When I told him this last week, he just looked confused, his mouth opened and jaw hit the floor. It was the funniest look. But he is starting to believe me now and I think that is why he made the fish tacos. Isn't he just darling?

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I forgot...
Current mood: amused

I forgot to put this in my Focus blog....

I know why I was confronted with the Drunk Bar Man who looked like my Dad several days ago. God was preparing me for the other guy who looked even more like my Dad who showed up to Focus. Yes, that is right. There was a second man who looks even more like my Dad and not only did he show up to the Focus Seminar, but he ended up in my small group (which was chosen randomly). So I am going to be haivng conference calls with my small group once a week for the next 8 weeks or so. How awesome is that?

Seeing this man was fabulous because he looked like a healthy version of my Dad...a kind version...a genuine version. He wasn't operating out of fear, he was operating out of kindness.

I know now that if I didn't have the preparation beforehand, I would have broken down and focused on the way this man looked during the whole seminar.

I havn't told the man from Focus the story of Drunk Bar Man yet. I told him I would email it to him because I want him to know that God took the time and prepared me for this man's presence in Focus. I hope that makes him feel special. I know I certainly feel special.

Isn't life Amazing??

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The 1 million dollar experiment
Current mood: chipper

I have just joined it!

I will be a millionaire soon!

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Current mood: ecstatic

So I just completed the 2nd of a 2 seminar series. The first was Discovery (see past post) and this past weekend I completed Focus. It was amazing! Simply amazing. Some of the processes they had were too contriversal for me to actually enjoy them...some down right disturbing. But in each of these processes I learned something about myself.

This was a 4 day seminar from 8:00 am to midnight. It was extremely intense and I value what I have learned. I feel more at ease with myself and feel more confident in knowing who I really am. Fun Melanie is back! I haven't seen her in years.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I found the answer!
Current mood: happy

So most of my girlfriends know the because of my ample boob-age that I spill my food on my chest, leaving me with stains (olive oil, etc) that do not come out with a normal washing. These shirts have been banished to only wearing them around the house. Well no more!

I have found the answer. This solution works on all of my already set in stains that have been there for years with shirts that have been washed over and over again....are you ready for it??

De-Solv-It; it is a citrus cleaner primarily used like "Goo Gone" but because I haven't used "Goo Gone" on my shirts, I can't recommend it. Anyway, spray De-Solv-It on the stain and let it set in overnight. Then spray Shout on the De-Solv-It stain (there will be a stain because De-Solv-It is made from citrus oil, so you need to get the citrus oil this not reminiscent of the Lady who swallowed the fly???) After you put Shout on the stain you can pop it into the washer and launder as usual. It is amazing...takes those stains out for good!

I can save all of my clothes and be able to wear them outside of the house. It is like a whole new wardrobe. Yay!

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Drunk Bar Man

Justin and I went to our local watering hole last night. We each ordered a drink and settled it at the bar to talk with a couple of our friends. Justin looked down toward the end of the bar and there was a man ordering a drink that looked like my Dad. Justin saw the man, snapped his head around to me to tell me, "You know who that looks like..." and then Justin stopped because he wasn't sure if he should point the man out to me or not. But at that moment I saw him too.

The man was shorter than my Dad was but let me tell you, he was the closest person that I've ever seen in the past (almost) 3 years now who looked like my Dad. The hairline, my Dad's eyes, his eyebrows, his nose, he even had a graying goatee. Immediately I had tears in my eyes. I had no intention of talking to this man. I just stared for a minute while his drink came.

I had no idea he if he was a local or not and not many people know that my Dad committed suicide. It is not something that I hide but I don't want that to be "my story" – "oh, Melanie, yeah did you know her Dad shot himself?" So I have kept it pretty quiet here in Fernley.

As fate would have it the man for whatever reason made a beeline straight down the bar, making a comment to each person in turn (there were only three of us sitting at the bar…our friend Steve, then Justin and me). When he got to me he asked (and by the way was completely drunk at 7:30 pm) what was wrong (because I was in tears and starting to cry and laugh at the same time). I told him that he looks like my Dad who passed away.

And in a true drunk fashion he said in a loud voice, "No shit! I look like someone?" I said, "Yes, my Dad." He said, "You know I'm not your Dad, I'm somebody's Dad, maybe I could be your Dad…hell, I'm your Dad" and was laughing. I started crying more now while the conversation with me (sober) and him (drunk) continued in that manner for a minute or two. Then he said, "Is your Dad still around?" And I said, "No, he committed suicide a few years ago." I was trying to explain that I was upset for a reason and that my Dad meant to end his own life. I felt foolish crying at a bar full of people to a man whose only burden (at the moment) was that he looked like a stranger's dead father.

At that point he started trying to make comparisons and said, "Did you Dad smoke?" I nodded. And blew some smoke towards me while laughing…and he continued with "I look like somebody, I'm not your Dad, but I could be like your Dad." Then he asked, "I'm an alcoholic, was your Dad and alcoholic?" I replied, "Yes". All the while I'm still crying and laughing. My laugh that was not a "oh, this is so funny" but a "oh, this is unbelievable...funny, yet not…happy-ish yet so sad."

Now I need to mention that this man was not doing any of this to be malicious, he was drunk and was a happy drunk. He was just pleased the he knew he looked like somebody. Then he asked again if my Dad was alive. I told him again, "No, my Dad died almost 3 years ago now, he committed suicide." He said, "I've thought about that, drinking myself to death." And knowing what I have been through but also knowing that he was drunk and that most of what I said he wouldn't remember anyway I started to tell him all of the reasons why he shouldn't kill himself. I don't think it got very far with him considering the circumstances that he was drunk talking to a crying stranger. If I were him, I probably wouldn't have put much thought into a pleading stranger to not kill myself either.

During this whole conversation, Justin was sitting right next to me and he interjected here and there, but mostly he sat there listening, fighting back tears (and not doing such a great job at points) and just shaking his head a lot.

Then there was a point which this man asked, "How do you feel about your Dad now?" And not that it mattered that I answered the question for this man, but it mattered how I answered this question for me. I took a deep breath and I said, "I feel sad, very sad that my Dad was in so much pain." And he gave me a happy hug. It was all very surreal.

[I noticed that my answer wasn't: angry, bitter, resentful, cheated, cynical, etc. It was simply: sad. I have spent the past few years trying to answer the question of "why" and being mad at my Dad, that I don't remember when all of my anger and bitterness and questioning just turned to sadness. I can attribute a lot of it to my Discovery Seminar (see past blog) but I can't tell you for sure. But I can tell you that I have never been happier that I am now sad. Because by being sad I am edging slowly toward complete acceptance (without playing the victim) and may be able to look back at my Dad with happiness. I don't know how long that will take but for now I am happy to be sad.]

Back to the man who looks like my Dad…I finally, after quite a few minutes, had to tell him that it was very painful to continue to have a conversation with him because of how much he looked like my Dad. I wished him the best and he left to sit at the other end of the bar.

After our one drink, Justin asked if we should leave. And for a moment I contemplated staying but decided that I was so emotionally exhausted that I wanted to leave.

In the car on our way back home I couldn't believe that encounter happened. I told Justin at points it seemed like my Dad was channeling through this man – because his mannerisms and things that my Dad would have said, this man said…surreal is a complete understatement. Even recalling the events of last night to write this blog it seems like last night was a complete, 100% dream. I'm honestly going to have to ask Justin when he wakes up if it was real.

As painful as last night was, I am grateful. Grateful for: (1) if that was my Dad channeling through this random, look-a-like stranger, I had a moment with my Dad to tell him that I felt so sad that he was in so much pain (2) that there are no accidents and I was able realize that I am sad and not angry anymore (3) that Justin was there with me the whole time. I must say that Justin is my rock. He is so steady, I'm grateful that he is always there for whatever it is that I need.

There are no accidents. I just hope I am able to take away from this what I need to in order to help heal my soul without my personality getting in the way. I'm sure by writing this for all of you to read is step one. Thank you for listening, really, thank you.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Sateen Sheets
Current mood: thankful

My Mom, of all people, bought my sister and I each a set of sateen sheets for Christmas. My Mom is so wanting a grandchild...

Anywho, Justin and I put the sateen sheets on the bed for the first time last night (for Valentine's Day) and let me tell you....that was the most awesome feeling in the world to be wraped in those sheets. It sucks that each time I see the sheets I think of my Mom but that is a whole other conversation to have with Freud when I die. sateen sheets for your sateen sheets even if you are is an affordable luxury for sure!

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Lumped Part Deux the lump on my neck is going down. Thank you all for your concern.

I didn't want to get into "the lump" too deeply because the point of my previous log was to focus on the "what if's" part not the actual "lump" part. But I must say that this was kind of like playing "what if I'm pregnant"'s interesting to face the "what if" when the possibility of the "what if" might actually happen. But just as when the "what if I am pregnant" doesn't pan out, I'm happy that the lump was just a "what if."

Have a wonderful day all!

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Have you ever been lumped?
Current mood: calm

Have you ever gotten a lump (anywhere on your body) and wondered, WFT? Where did this come from and what does it mean? Is it an infection, cancer or just a lump. What does it mean if it hurts/doesn't hurt? And then thoughts start to wander with all of the what if's? I like the what if's. It makes me appreciate what I have and even just living. However the unknown of what the hell is that just drives me crazy.

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Damn Spiders!
Current mood: scared

Holy Shit! I just got the bejezzus scared out of me! I opened up my little drawer in which is right in front of my body as I type...and there was a freaking huge daddy long leg in the drawer. I know it was planning on jumping up and attacking my face as soon as I opened the drawer but I must have caught it by surprise because it didn't do anything. It heard me scream and then slam the drawer shut. I had to go to the office next door (because I'm alone at my office right now) and get one of the guys there to come and kill the freakin' bastard. The deed is now done and I can hopefully work in peace...except that I keep looking over at the wadded up tissue that he killed it in. Damn freakin' spiders!

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A few random thoughts for today:

  1. I have decided, and told this to Justin, if I was ever in a coma and say I would come out of the coma I would want to be starved (if I was brain dead, this would be a different story). Just tell the doctors to starve me until I got to my ideal weight. This way I can wake up from a long sleep and whoooaaaa be skinny! Best idea ever! (Justin thinks that he wouldn't have much say in the matter and doesn't think that the doctors would starve me….which is why I am writing it on here….proof of what I would want! Not that they would listen.)
  2. I have mastered the uneven toilet paper roll! Most of you probably already know this but this is something that has bothered me from time to time. So you know when you have a toilet paper roll and you tear off a piece and the tear lines do not match up? Well, I have never figured out how to fix it. Although this has not been an obsession, it has bothered me. Well, I figured out that if I take the outer layer only and roll it over the roll once and tear it off, the tear lines now match up. Yahoo!
  3. I'm so glad that Sarah and No Name on Alice are broadcasted online. Yay! I feel like a part of the Bay Area again.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Weather system

There is heat dish and fans being blasted in our living room, kitchen and dining area. We have our window open slightly in our bedroom because we can't stand it hot in there (its in the low 20s to high teens outside right now). There is a weather system that is starting to accumulate in the hallway. Soon there may be lightening.

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Flooded update

Justin has the heat on to 85 degrees. There are fans and space heaters pointed toward the floor. It feels like Hawaii. And being that we have a high of 35 degrees today, its awfully nice for me to come home to that. Justin however is baking.

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So I woke up this morning and went into the kitchen, looked at what I was going to grab for breakfast. I got into the shower and was ready to leave, walked back into the kitchen and it was flooded. A hose had broke underneath the kitchen sink. The water flooded our kitchen and soaked into the carpet all around the kitchen. So sometime between 6:45 and 7:45 this morning is when the hose broke and the water went a'flowin'.

Justin and I put all of our towels and blankets over the water. Justin sopped it all up and is current steam cleaning. Our heat in the house is up to 85 degrees and he has fans and space heaters trying to dry up the carpet.

At least our carpets are getting steam cleaned.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Wow...what a wonderful gift!

Justin and I got back yesterday from a seminar called "Discovery." Justin's parents went to this a couple of months ago as part of the boarding school's program for Justin's brother. They thought that Justin, Shannon and I would get a lot out of it.

And let me tell you, it was AMAZING. It was hard...physically and emotionally...from 8 AM until midnight each day. I was physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. But it was the best thing I have ever done! To put it in perspective: after my dad died I went to 6 sessions with a psychologist and never got out of those sessions what I did with this experience. I don't even feel comfortable referring to it as a "seminar" as it was more of an experience.

It was UNLIKE anything I have ever been to in my life. This was not a "sales" seminar where they push books or CDs after the course was finished. I was impressed that for the parents and grandparents of children in the boarding school there is no charge. For siblings and guests, there is a small charge (and I mean small for what you get out of it). There were no unanswered questions that need to be answered in additional seminars.

We are bound by confidentiality about the processes and the people that are in the seminars so I can't say that much. Other than it was the most difficult thing to look inward, admit and release all of the baggage that I had with me from childhood, past relationships and past choices. I learned how to be honest with myself and others and why guilt does not work and is a waste of time. Oh YES! No more Catholic guilt…!

This seminar was really out of the ordinary. It was not simply lecture and the "same old" team building games. I really was able to deal with all kinds of personal issues directly, by myself with guidance. This was really CRAZY GOOD!

There were a few people who took the course who did not have children in the boarding schools so I believe that people can take this seminar if the want to. And I would recommend it for anyone. Especially if you are holding onto any baggage (which I certainly was).

And there is one additional seminar that is a 4 day seminar, also 8 AM until midnight each day. I know it will be much for difficult to get through. The next one is called "Focus." In Discovery, you discover the things that you need to "Focus" on. I am definitely scare but excited.

So the next time you see me and say to yourself, "Wow, there is something different about Melanie!" You will now know why.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Cool New People and Vacation
Current mood: contemplative

I wonder what the chances are of seeing your own profile picture on "Cool New People" on the myspace homepage and your own profile page? I'm sure someone can do the math out there. I know, you have to factor in how many times your log onto myspace and refresh your page...but really, what are the odds? And I wonder how many times I showed up to someone else as a "Cool New Person"?

Anywho ~ I have only today and Friday left before I start my 10 day vacation from work, from getting up early from any cares in the world. I will do what I want, when I want, see who I want....well, I will have some obligations, but they are happy obligations.

Justin and I are heading down to Placerville for a couple of days the spending Christmas week through New Years in San Jose. We are going to a Sharks game, spending time with friends, spending New Years and Dave and Busters... I CAN'T WAIT! I'm even looking forward to the drive. I love me a good road trip!

What are you doing for Christmas and New Years?

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Hanly's Hounds Car Wrap

We are going to wrap our Subaru Baja (advertising car wrap). We have a couple of idea but are looking for more. If you have any ideas of what you would like to see on our car (example: dogs all over it or poop everywhere [which won't happen, by the way]) go ahead and post it on here...we need some other ideas so we can figure out what would scream: Pooper Scooper!!!

Thanks for any help you could offer.

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Current mood: mellow

We do not have kids for many reasons. One is the expense. Just having dogs is expensive. For example, poor Pugzilla had a growth on the bottom of his back paw, smack dab in the middle of his paw pads. We guess his has been bothering him for about a month (hindsight is always 20/20) and it was pretty big, about the size of his other paw pads. So we took him to the vet yesterday in Reno. They had to put him under anesthesia, take the growth off and send it off to a lab to see what it was. All for $420.00. Nice. Thank goodness we bought all of our Christmas presents for everyone already - or else there would not have been a Christmas.

But it is not only the cost, it is the sleeplessness. I didn't sleep much last night because I was up with an uncomfortable and very needy Pugzilla. Granted, I can count the sleepless nights on two hands, not a bad percentage considering Pugzilla has been alive for approximately 1650 days already. My percentage would be WAY higher with kids.

I feel bad for Pugzilla - he has a bandage around his paw and is very needy. I feel bad for Justin because he is home today with the dogs, experiencing first hand the neediness of Pugzilla.

And Justin wants another pug...hahaha. So not going to happen!

All in all, Justin and I are SOOOOO glad that Pugzilla is okay and recovering well. We just need to find out the results of the biopsy and hopefully that will come back clear.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

It's Friday!
Current mood: cheerful

This week has gone by super fast! I forgot to post a funny story that happened last week:

Last Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving) Justin had oral surgery - to have his wisdom teeth out as well as one of his front teeth that he knocked out partially with a ladder (long story for another time). So I drove him to the oral surgeon and he was put under a twilight anesthesia. I was so scared that something bad would happen (that he wouldn't wake up). I made him kiss me goodbye and I was a nervous wreck! He came out of it fine and was in a dandy mood until we got about 1/4 of the way home when he started getting sick from the anesthesia.

Thankfully, I had made Justin pack the car with some essentials, a pillow and blanket, water, garbage bags (in case he were to throw up), etc. Well, he started to feel nauseous and started to dry heave, which cause me (a sympathetic dry heaver, myself) to do the same. I gunned the car and kept it at a steady 95 miles per hour the rest of the way home. The speed limit on the freeway to our house is 70.

I was about 1 mile from getting off the freeway when the cop saw me. I made it to the off ramp but the police car actually cut someone off to get behind me. He officer threw on his lights and pulled me over. He got to my car and said, "I clocked you at 92." I said, "Really? Because I was going 95 most of the way here." The officer chuckled. Then I made my plea, "I'm sorry but I am trying to get my husband home, he just had oral surgery and he is throwing up in the car." The officer looked over at Justin, who at the time did not make any eye contact with the officer and was rocking himself back and forth. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he had two ice packs strapped to the side of his fact with a white cloth that went from under his chin, up the side of his face and was tied in a nice bow on top of his head. (Something out of a cartoon, I swear!). Anywho, the officer gave me a little lecture and sent me on my way - NO TICKET!

Most of you know that I have been pulled over a lot. I think that was my 11th time or so and never gotten a ticket (knock on wood). I know that if I did not have a damn good reason and a pathetic looking Justin sitting next to me that I would have not only gotten a ticket but given a misdemeanor as well.

The end. :)

PS - Justin is doing fine, healing well.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mission Accomplished
Current mood: accomplished

I was 90% done with our Christmas shopping last Wednesday (the Day BEFORE Thanksgiving). And now, we are completely, 100% done! I can't believe it. My winning strategy took some time, but organization was the key for me:

1) I created a spreadsheet with everyone I was going to buy gifts for with a target budget (I went over on most of the budgets). I put on the spreadsheet the items I ordered online in 1 column and bought in the stores in another and a column for "Received Shipment Items" column to track what I have and have not received. I also had a column for ideas of what I wanted to get each person. (This spreadsheet will also help for wrapping presents).
2) I shopped online for most everything. I tried to stick with as few websites as possible to help save on the shipping costs.
3) We went shopping just so we can have the experience of putting gifts in a cart, but 70% of it was done online.

Now, I haven't wrapped anything yet, that will be saved for this weekend. And all before we even have our Christmas Tree.

Oh, Happy, Happy Holidays!

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Monday, November 20, 2006

Staying in Fernley

So I am staying in Fernley for was meant to be. If Fernley is where I need to be right be it.

Onto enjoying my life!

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Monday, November 13, 2006

Changing my mind?
Current mood: confused

Right ~ so I told my old company No Way Jose! And since then, I feel in my heart that I have made a wrong decision. I felt okay about it last week until I was talking with one of the owners of my current company and he said that he heard I was talking to my old company and I told him about their offer and he said (more than once)..."And you didn't take it?" and "You know if we paid you that, our company would go bankrupt." and "You know that is more than (your immidate) boss makes." Ummmm...crap! So I emailed my old company to see if the door was still open...

Not sure if it is a right or wrong decision. I don't know.

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Old job offer
Current mood: content

So my old job offered me my old job back, plus more responsibility..and $20+K more per year, great benefits, etc. etc.. After much thought and consideration ~ I'm turning them down. I seriously thought about it for a while: money vs. happiness. I've always chosen the money route ~ and for the first time in a very long time, I am happy with work. Don't get me wrong, it is a piece of cake, too easy in fact and a little boring. But I'm helping to keep a business afloat and I am very much appreciated. Plus as Justin would say - It is 2.2 miles away. How can I go wrong with that?

Also - today is Justin's Bday, we are going to celebrate by going to the most popular bar/restaurant/casino in town...yay.

Have a wonderful day!

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween Night

My, oh My!

First, we had about 8 wonderful volunteers! I would like to thank them all, they did a fantastic job of showing up, showing up on time and scaring the heck out of all of the passers through. And everyone enjoyed themselves, which is ALWAYS wonderful. So thank you very much.

The evening went off almost without a hitch, about 1/2 an hour into the event, we lost power....twice, blew out the circuts, luckily Justin and Jeff figured out the problem and rerouted some of the equipment and it did not happen again.

I ran out of 5 gallons of homemade apple cider in about the first 2 hours, same with the cookies.

We did not have any instances of anyone being rude, mean or hurtful. Almost all of our visitors were dressed up in costumes and everyone loved the effort we put into it.

As always, I froze outside even with a heat dish above me, electric blankets above and below me. Next year we are going to have to invest in a propane heater for me.

I had about 3 hours of sleep before the event, too many things going through my head. Luckily Parley, my boss, let me have the day off ~ we would have never gotten through everything if I had only take the 1/2 day I was origionally going to. And today, I have been up since 3am, with the darned graveyard music we had playing going through my head, over and over.

How many people did we have? I knew the question was in your mind, as it was in ours. We started letting people through at 5:30, we closed up shop at 9:30, with the last hour being very slow. We actually had a line several times throughout the night, exactly what Justin wanted. We had 657 new people (not people who came through 2-3 times) come throug~I have a clicker counter thingy...Not bad for being in a community that is the furthest away from most of every other housing development, everyone had to drive across town to get to see us. We ran out of our full sized candy bars and had to resort to the actual Halloween candy.

I can't tell you how many people asked if we do this kind of thing for Christmas. Each time I cringed at the thought and said, "We are only allowed to be crazy one time per year, this is our crazy."

I can't wait to get our house back looking like a house again though and have our living room back to normal.

Have a wonderful day, beautiful people.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

In Both Fernley Newspapers!
Current mood: pleased

As most of you know we do a walk through Haunted House each year, we started it in San Jose and we have carried it over to Fernley.
We are in both papers today! The Lahontan Valley News and the Fernley Leader Courier. (Fernely editions of the papers come out on Wednesdays.) In the Fernley Leader Courier we have a big picture of the front of our house in the front page with a caption on top that says "Enter if you Dare..." and below our address and such. I haven't been through that paper to find an article, Justin will do that this morning.
Below is a link to the Lahontan Valley News...we are on Page 2, it takes up almost 1/2 of the page and has a picture of our front yard. (Both newspapers used the same picture, I have attached it.)

I am thinking that we are going to break our record for the amount of kids coming to our house. Some of our neighbors are scared..saying that they need to buy more candy. :) Heck, I'm scared now. I think we are also going to have a line in front of our house, something Justin has always wanted.

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Really? Really?
Current mood: content

Right - so my old boss in Reno called me up, said that he wants to "woo" me back. Seriously. He said that he and a couple of the other partners want to take me out to dinner next week. They said they know what I wanted to make. When they were counter offering me when I put in my notice I told them I what I wanted to make - over 50% more than what I was making at the time, they didn't go for it. Now, apparently they are willing to go for it.

I'm sure I am going to turn them down, I am too happy now and I am learning that it is hard to put a price on happiness. However, if they come back with some insane amount of money, it might not be so hard to put a price on happiness. Right now, I think I want to go through the process of being "wooed" and such, it is after all very flattering. :)

And FYI - I am now bobby-clipping my bangs looks very nice and they are out of my face. Nice!

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Growing out bangs update.

I have not cut my bangs yet. They are that that super annoying point. But I am staying strong and not cutting them!

Headbands do not work right not, my bangs blown dry and put in a headband are too poofy.

I actually blew dry my bangs up to the back of my looks okay, only a little poofy (until they grow out) but at least they are out of my face. And I must say, because I have always had bangs, not having them is very, very freeing and looks quite good. Yay!

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In the newspaper...
Current mood: grateful

We were in the Fernley Leader Courier yesterday for our Haunted House - and next week (the paper comes out on Wednesday's only) we will have a photo of our front yard as well. Yeah! That means that we should be getting, many, many kids coming by our house. And I think we will also be having about 6-8 volunteers work in the Haunted House that evening.

Last night we plastered the town with 150 flyers on community mailboxes (the new thing for the newly built communities here in Fernley). I'll let ya'll know how it goes and how many people we get.

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Fun with Pugs
Current mood: relaxed

So we are now knee deep in Halloween stuff. We have been setting up the Haunted House - all of the decorations are in our living room and slowly creeping outward. It is a mess! In the midst of all of this chaos, Justin came up with a great idea...

Have you seen the Halloween candy bowls (that have been out for years) that have a hand sticking up in the middle of the bowl so when you go to grab for a piece of candy it says "Happy Halloween" and the hand moves down into the bowl to touch your hand? Well imagine that with Dog Treats in it and it placed on the floor for the Pugs to get their treats from. Justin and I were cracking up; the dogs were barking but kept trying to get their "cookies" because Justin and I were egging them on...hehe.

And on a side note...I love having the house to ourselves! It is FANTASTIC!

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hi, My name is Melanie and I am addicted to

Seriously - I check it about 10 times a day for good deals on whatever. Free, Furniture, General and Household are my favorite categories. I love it!!!

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Sunday, October 08, 2006

No Way...
Current mood: giddy

No way - I can't believe it. Our roommate is moving out, for real. He is packing up his stuff with Justin's help. He is not moving far, 1/4 of a mile away, but who cares??? Justin and I will be alone by ourselves once more. We calculated out that in our 5.5 years of living together, we have been alone for 1 year and 3 months. Not very long. I'm looking forward to a little more time with him. Talk to me in 6 months and I'm sure I will say we need a roommate...hehehe.

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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Do you ever..?
Current mood: discontent

Do ya ever feel bummed out, for no reason, going through a funk? Wondering if you have made the right decisions in your life, thinking of how you would change them. Not sure what to do but wade in a pool of melancholy....suffering from a case of the "ho hums" - what do you do to get yourself out of that?

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Classic....absolute F'ing Classic

What a fucking night - oh, it started out peacefully enough - then it happened. An image I will, regretfully, never ever get out of my head. Why oh why did this have to happen?

Right, so our roommate came home again, as he normally does at 2 o'clock in the morning - loud. Our dogs in our bedroom bark and wake up me and Justin. I tell Justin that this has to stop; I'm tired of being woken up in the middle of the night. Normally though, I am able to go right back to sleep. But the dogs continue to bark every so often because the guest bathroom is being used. And our roommate is loud at that too, the door opening and closing loudly, etc. So here I am at 3:15 up.

I decided to let the dogs outside, at least one of them seemed to have to go to the bathroom - then I notice that the garage light is on, the roommates door is open, I smell cigarette smoke. I decided to go in there to tell him to be quiet, especially when using the bathroom so I can go back to sleep.

That is when it happened. The image that will never burn out of my mind.

I walk into the garage and I hear two voices - and promptly turn to see Jeff (roommate), standing there, back to me (thankfully) NAKED! Thats right folks, fucking naked.

There are so many things wrong with this that I cannot list here...

1) Jeff naked. Enough said. Oh, except I should say that this - because I can now, that he is a hairy bastard. I'm talking monkey hairy, down his back to his butt (sadly I know this now).

2) Who ever said that it was okay to run around a house with roommates naked??? Especially, when you are being loud in the middle of the night?

3) Who, in their right mind, okay, I'm sure she (maybe she, because I didn't get a look at her/him, Jeff was blocking the person with his naked body-*shiver*) was drunk, the only way that this naked encounter with Jeff and anyone else would be possible.

4) And, did I mention that I believe the naked woman was sitting at the bar on our barstools- that are normally kept in the kitchen??? Wrong, wrong, just wrong.

Okay, I'm sure there are more things wrong with this, but I am so pissed off right now that I was put into this position that I can't think of them.

Why? Why does this happen to me? Damn it!

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Are we going to be on HGTV?

Justin received this email on Monday night:
To Whom It May Concern:

Hi my name is Jane Smith and I am writing on behalf of the Home and Garden Channel! I have come across your home and was wondering if you might be interested in being featured on a special spin-off of our popular TV show "What's With That House?" called "What's With That Really Haunted Halloween House?" with host George Grey! I must say that you house is by far the VERY BEST I've seen and we would love to feature your home on this new series! The shoot would take place right around Halloween or so...If there is ANY possibility you might be interested please let me know!! We would love to show off your REALLY HAUNTED HALLOWEEN HOUSE!

Please feel free to contact me and I look forward to hearing from you!

First, Jane Smith is not her name. Second she is with LMNO productions and third - this is for real. Justin has been putting ads all around the Reno area on Craigslist to see if people want him to build them a Halloween prop. And this "Jane Smith" person came across that ad. How awesome is that?

We had to fill out their application and submit more pictures of the haunted house and of me and Justin (to make sure we are television pretty) and are waiting. Keep your fingers crossed. This would be awesome for our haunted house, maybe we would be able to tie in Hanly's Hounds with the local media coverage (because if HGTV is coming to our house, we are for sure going to contact the newspapers and television stations in the Reno area...oh yeah!).

Anywho - it is just nice to maybe, possibly have an opportunity like this!

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

To Washington - Ho!

We are heading up to Washington tomorrow - state not DC in celebration of Justin's Grandma's Bday, she is turning 80.

We fear going up there. Our fear is because Washington is where we want to end up - that we will not want to come back to the desert. We are headed to the greenest, most beautiful place (to us) and know that coming back to a dry, desolate, treeless environment may cause insantiy. What is worse than moving to the desert? Having taste of what a green, beautiful surroundings we could possibly have instead.

We should have fun anyway and cry in each other's arms on the way home.

I'll let ya'll know.

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Freakin' good Samaritans

Justin and I drive up to the only BofA drive though ATM in town, actually it is the only BofA Bank in town...and as we get to the AMT the screen says "Would you like another transaction?" Now mind you, we did not put our card in yet...then we realize, someone drove away, left their card in the ATM having already entered their PIN number. If there was ever a moment of being good Samaritans, this was THE moment. Now that did not stop us from doing a balance inquiry just to see how screwed these idiots would be...they had a little less than $500 in their checking account - we didn't bother to see what was in their savings. They would have been screwed if anyone else would have driven up to that ATM machine - we could have easily pulled out money - but we didn't. We let the card get eaten by the machine, so we knew no one else would get to it - got our $40 out of our account and drove away.

Freaking good Samaritans - I hate us.

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Monday, September 04, 2006

Getting Old

Most of you know my past histories with birthdays - they suck. I've ended up in the hospital twice, parents fighting, a failed trip to Disneyland when I was a kid...Something always ends up happening, more stories for my blog at a later date.

This year it was age. My body told me loud and clear that I am officially old. I woke up Friday morning with a kink in my neck and shoulder that left me with almost no range of motion. To look in either direction, I had to turn at the waist. Throughout the day it kept getting worse and worse. By the time Friday night came, I took some Demerol (courtesy of my Mom, thank you very much) and thought it would be fine in the morning. Oh how wrong I was.

I will spare you the long string of complaints, as that is what old people have a tendency to do - like anyone cares except the person complaining. Bottom line - body hurts, getting old, this is sucky.

All in all, it was a good day. My sister came up and made fabulous bruchetta and hummus - my Mom actually came by our house (first time since Thanksgiving --she lives not more than 8 miles away) --we went to dinner and had yummy steaks --then to a comedy show where I promptly fell asleep because I was on more of my Mom's drugs (again thank you very much).

And the best thing...Justin, my wonderful husband, cleaned the whole house! Swept, mopped, dusted, even cleaned the baseboards - how awesome is that!!! He is so good to me.

Have a wonderful day, beautiful people.

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Friday, September 01, 2006

Fabulous 80's Purse and Bangs and Alice
Current mood: excited

I just found that there are purses for sale on Ebay. I have never used Ebay before and was puttering around there one day a couple of weeks ago - and stumbled across the category. So I ordered 2 - a black Kenneth Cole Reaction tote something or's cute and a Fossil leather hobo purse, it looked brown.

I haven't received the Kenneth Cole bag yet, but I did receive the Fossil. First, I don't think it was really a Fossil despite the sewn in label, etc. Second, it so was not brown! It was coral - orange pink. No kidding. And the style, I thought was cute - the bag was smaller than I thought and 80's pink leather.

I can't use it. Really. I already live in a town where 80's white trash fashion is normal for some - just walk into the only popular bar in town and wait about 10 - you will see what I am talking about. I can't risk blending in - I have a constant need to separate myself from here - I use the phrase "I am from the Bay Area/San Jose" quite a bit. I need people to know. I need to have it tattooed on my forehead. Okay, my forehead is covered with my cheeks. Whatever.

Speaking of my forehead covered with bangs...I need your help over the next 5 months. I have tried over and over again to grow out my bangs - but always get frustrated in months 2 and 3 and give up and cut them. I am determined to get past it and grow them out. I have always had bangs, my whole life. I want to see if the grass is greener on the other side. I am going to do it this time. And I promise before I pick up those scissors or make that hair appointment, I will call Carol, Rish or Maggie and you can make sure I am not going to do anything drastic...

Oh - can I tell you how happy I am that Alice Radio 97.3 in San Francisco now has a "Listen Live" link...I can now listen to my favorite morning show - because all the morning shows around here sucks, as my sister would say, big fat wookey!

Any why isn't there spell check on here?? I have to preview & post, copy it into Word, check the spelling and correct on here. Sucky!

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Thursday, August 31, 2006


Justin, our roommate Jeff and I went out to dinner last week. None of us felt like cooking so we ended up at a sports bar/casino/restaurant in Fernley. This place, like many others in Fernley have young girls (I am talking 15, 16, 17 years old) working as waitresses.

I ordered a Dr. Pepper. Our waitress tells the other waitress, who was helping her out, to get me the "DP." And immediately because I am with Justin and Jeff, who by the way are long time friends and just two adolescents when they are together...start laughing. And I know why.

If you have ever watched know what DP is. If you do not know, go ask your Mom and Dad and have them explain it to you - for I will not.

Obviously, this 17 year old, who just told the 15 year old to get a DP - did not know the porn reference. Justin and Jeff are looking at each other, laughing. And then they proceed to covertly use DP in dirty, dirty ways but that seem like no big deal to the teenagers. They were saying things like, "Can you please give Melanie another DP? She has a fondness for DP action." And so this went, throughout dinner - over an hour. And the comments were just getting worse and worse. There was hilarious adolesence stuff happening at our table.

Here was my dilemma - should I tell her or should I not? It was decided that if anything were explained about the DP reference, I should do it and not Justin and/or Jeff. I decided not to broach the subject and let her Mom and Dad or Boyfriend explain it.

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Chicken Eggs

Justin is pet sitting for a house that has cows, horses, chickens, ducks, a dog and two cats. I enjoy going with him so I can pet the horses and the cows. Which is a novelty for this city girl.

Justin did tell me today that I am not Green Acres material because of what I apparently do not know about farm life. See, Justin has been taking home farm fresh eggs, of which we have almost a dozen right now. When Justin gets the eggs home he washes them to get the dirt off of them, but he doesn't get all of the dirt off - and he put them in our egg container in our refrigerator. All good, right? So wrong!

There are three eggs that can't fit in the egg container - so they are roaming around the refrigerator. And I have moved these eggs to several parts of the fridge to get them out of the way or to put them in a safer place so they wouldn't fall out.

Back to the farm - yesterday Justin walked into the chicken/duck pen to retrieve some eggs that have been sitting out for a couple of days - he decided to not keep them (because they have been in the hot weather and they would have not been good to eat). He had about a half dozen eggs that he decided that each one should be thrown as far away as possible into the vast field behind us. It looked like fun so I asked Justin if I could thrown one, so I did.

We got ready to leave when he turned on the hose to wash his hands, he asked if I want to wash mine, I said yes, but why? He said because of the CHICKEN POO. The what??? Chic-ken-poo. When did I touch chicken poo, I asked...he said on the eggs. WHAT?? (This is when Justin decided I could never live on a farm.)

Justin explained to me that amongst the dirt on the chicken eggs, that there was chicken poo. Holy shit. Did you know that? I sure as hell didn't! And I touched it. Horrible yuckiness.

Then it dawned on me, like a light bulb going off...there are chicken poo eggs in our refrigerator. The eggs that didn't fit in the egg carton...that at my doing, have roamed all around the shelves...chicken poo on our shelves.

A long discussion - mostly of me being grossed out and Justin laughing (why would he laugh??...there is a serious problem of chicken poo in our refrigerator).

Damn It, Chicken Poo Eggs! Needless to say, I had to buy bleach - a sponge and gloves for the battle royal... The Refrigerator vs. The Chic-ken-poo Eggs.

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White Trash Rhinestone Cowboy

There has never been a time when I wanted my camera more than yesterday at 10:30 am on Main Street in Fernley.

I am driving back from getting coffee and walking down the right hand side of the road is the white trash looking guy (not hard to find in Fernley). Let me describe this White Trash Rhinestone Cowboy...

1) White male, mid 30's, probably a mullet (I couldn't tell for sure since he was wearing a hat - which I will describe in a minute) but definitely long hair in the back, just past the nape of his neck.

2) No shirt - of course, you can't be a White Trash Rhinestone Cowboy with a freakin' shirt on.

3) Silver, ladies and gentlemen, not gray, shimmery slacks.

4) I kid you not...a white, faux diamond studded belt! It was the belt that made me wish I had my camera. How could I not have a camera with me???

5) A hat, not just any hat though - it looked like a woman's soft baseball cap - but in HOT PINK - let me be more specific - 80's hot pink. But I am not sure if it was a "woman's" hat or not.

Oh my goodness! What I would not have given to have a camera right then and there. I think I am going to have to buy myself one just to keep in the car for events like this. I can't let another one of these magical moments pass me by.

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Saturday, August 19, 2006

PugZilla Doggie Door Story

This was written several years ago - years before we had two does read better if you know me and Justin - but hey, it still might be funny to you.

The back-story:

My husband and I had decided to train our Pug, Pug-Zilla to do his business in a litter box outside on our patio. Now we have an apartment and it wouldn't be wise to leave the sliding glass door open all day. We figured a doggy-door for the patio would work well. First, it's not permanent and we can take it to the next place we decide to move. We went to Home Depot and learned that our sliding glass door is unusually large for an apartment. But The Husband was confident that he could rig it so it would fit properly. So we bought the doggie door. Then we bought some wood siding that could be cut to fit the top of the doggie door (the top of the door is spring loaded we figured we could add some siding on there and it would fit to the top of the sliding door). Then we bought a saw for the siding.

Okay, now we have been married just over a year. And I have known The Husband since we were 13I knew he could do this. Plus this is one of the first projects I have been witness to him doing. See, I can remember back to when I was a kid and projects at my house were horrible, stressful events. My sister and I had to stay out of my Dad's way and keep quiet. Even worse though was us hanging around him and then leaving when things started to go wrong. You could cut the tension with a knife. Knowing my past, I decided to hang around anyway, from the beginning and leave when things, I should say "if", if things got tense.

The Husband's project begins:

Step 1: take door out of box, yell at dog to get away, because he is trying to eat the cardboard.

Step 2: eyeball the door, while it's laying flat on the ground, to make sure that the wood siding you just bought needs to be cut

Step 3: lift up doggie door next to the sliding glass door to make sure original sizing up of the doors in step two was correct

Step 4: acknowledge that step two was correct and that step three confirmed step two

Step 5: assemble doggie door

Step 6: acknowledge directions laying on the floor next to the empty box that the dog is trying to eat

Step 7: yell at dog

Step 8: tell wife that you do not need her help and to stop asking, sigh at dog still going for the cardboard

Step 9: place doggie door into position, study the locking mechanisms on the doggie door to make sure that of course they won't fit the sliding glass door, study the locking mechanisms on the sliding glass door to double check that they won't fit the doggie door. Sigh.

Step 10: do not acknowledge wife's question, "are you sure this is going to work?"

Step 11: sit outside with saw in hand contemplating the cuts that need to be made on the wood siding

Step 12: get up and measure the gap between the top of the doggie door and the top of the sliding glass door

Step 13: do not double check measurements

Step 14: do not acknowledge wife's skeptical looks that this is not going to work out right accompanied by, "are you sure this is going to fit?"

Step 15: remember measurements from step 12 and use those to measure how much to cut the wood siding

Step 16: use pen to mark measurements in straight line, or at least it looks like a straight line

Step 17: start to cut wood siding on your own

Step 18: realize that cutting wood on your own is not working; begrudgingly ask wife for her help to hold the wood while you cut it

Step 19: make sure that cutting the wood siding is almost the most difficult task ever, so much so that wife get annoyed holding the wood until it is cut and then realizes that there are 5 other pieces to cut

Step 20: yell at dog to stop eating the sawdust from the cut wood

Step 21: cut five other pieces of wood

Step 22: thank wife for her help and give her the look to again stay out of your way

Step 23: insert the pieces of wood to the top of the doggie door to make sure they will fit

Step 24: realize that the wood is just bowing enough to launch from between the doggie door and the top of the sliding glass door; put two more pieces of wood on top of the doggie door so it doesn't bow

Step 25: realize that the pieces of wood were not cut straight, take said pieces out and re-cut

Step 26: insert pieces of wood back into doggie door and realize that they are not cut straight but figure you will deal with that later

Step 27: close sliding glass door to make sure that all pieces line up, notice gap between sliding glass door and doggie door and wood siding

Step 28: listen to wife ask if you have read the directions, ignore wife

Step 29: listen to wife ask if you have watched the enclosed instructional video tape, oblige wife by putting in tape and pretend to watch

Step 30: give the "I told you so" look to wife when instructional video goes over how to train the dog to go through the doggie door and NOT how to put the doggie door together

Step 31: ignore wife, who is becoming somewhat amused by the tension in the air

Step 32: take the enclosed weather stripping and put it on the side of the door facing the sliding glass door, realize that it is not suppose to go there and remove

Step 33: work on the locking system: you cannot use the lock from the doggie door as it doesn't work since it is too high, drill holes below the original lock on the doggie door to move it down lower to match the lock on the sliding glass door, break your drill bit while drilling

Step 34: get pissed off at your wife's inability to control her laughter

Step 35: realize that your wife is going to leave the room because she doesn't want to laugh in front of you

Step 36: tell your wife that she will not leave the room to go laugh in another and force her to stay in the same room with you, although you must not allow her to help or make any suggestions

Step 37: devise another way of locking the sliding glass door, drill hole in bottom of sliding glass door at the opposite end of the doggie door and use a pin mechanism

Step 38: re-drill hole in sliding glass door at the bottom because your previous drill bit broke, the one that would have been the perfect fit, but you only have smaller drill bits and have to use that to make the hole about 1/8 of an inch bigger

Step 39: realize that where you drilled the holes in the sliding glass door for the pin mechanism does not line up right; re-drill so it will work

Step 40: take stock of what you have accomplished so far and list the things you still need to do to finish the job

Step 41: yell at dog for trying to eat the cardboard again

Step 42: watch wife lock up the dog in the bedroom so he doesn't eat the cardboard anymore

Step 43: realize that there is only the weather stripping to be put on, the wood siding to be reversed so it faces the right way

Step 44: do what you realized in step 43

Step 45: pat yourself on the back now that the doggie door is now installed properly; it is now time to train the dog

Step 46: ask wife to let dog out of bedroom, get accolades from wife on a job well done

Step 47: watch dog bark at flap of doggie door and not want to go through the flap

Step 48: push dog though doggie door flap

Step 49: watch dog scratch on sliding glass door to get back in the apartment

Step 50: go outside through sliding glass door and push dog back into the apartment through the doggie door flap

Step 51: repeat steps 48, 49 and 50 for about 15 minutes

Step 52: get pissed off at your wife's inability to control her laughter

Step 53: get fed up and tape up doggie door flap with duct tape and give up because you have now realized that you can't win

Uh yeah, that is pretty much how the whole event went. Now, being the wife who was laughing I realized that you should NEVER do that!

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